Women's Lifestyle magazine

Things Every Lady Should Do Before Getting Married

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Image result for african american young couples on a dateEvery lady needs to be mentally, physically and emotionally ready before getting married. Yes! marriage takes a lot to make it work. For many women, marriage is something they’ve been looking forward to since they were a little girl. While it’s undoubtedly an exciting and momentous experience in life, it’s far from the only life-changing and all-important event. For this reason, it’s best not to rush your trip down to the altar. This is true even if you’ve been with your significant other for several years  or even decades.

Below are some lists that  can help prepare you mentally, emotionally and physically for a successful and long-lasting marriage.

1.Create a Life That You Love *Without* a Partner

That way, when he shows up, you’re already grounded. You’re not dependent on him, and you’ll be more likely to find someone who loves you and your passions.

2. Create a List of Five Values It’s Important Your Partner Has

Say, for example, that finding a partner who follows a sustainable lifestyle is absolutely crucial for you. Put that on the list as a reminder not to compromise on your core values. Disclaimer: If you feel that your priorities are shifting and that what you thought was a dealbreaker value isn’t really a dealbreaker value anymore, then by all means, change your list. It’s not set in stone. But if the guy you’re heading down the aisle with right now doesn’t meet one of the criteria on your list—and you still feel it’s important—then it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship before you make a big mistake.

3.Learn How to Be Alone without Being Lonely

Need some help? Try taking yourself to dinner once a week or planning one night a week just for you. You’ll find that whatever you choose to do in those moments is what you really want to do. And knowing how to “find your chill” is crucial because it means that you don’t need outside validation to feel whole—and you don’t put unfair expectations on your partner to keep you entertained. In turn, you’ll likely encourage your partner to pursue his hobbies, too, which will create a healthy interdependent relationship. It’s better to rely on each other completely equally than to have one person do the heavy lifting, which will likely cause tension down the line.

4.Create Time and Space in Your Life for a Relationship

You know that whole idea of “If you build it, they will come?” The same goes for your love life: If you make room in your life for a relationship, you’re way more likely to find that one falls into place. but don’t invest enough time or effort into your partnership, chances are you won’t have it for long.

 

5. Agree on How You and Your Partner Will Handle Your Finances.

You may have been managing your own finances for a while now, but once you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, figuring out how to share a bank account can get tricky. Discuss financial biggies (read: any potential debt you’ll need to manage, what you’re comfortable paying for rent or a mortgage, what the price cutoff should be for discussing an impulse purchase, how much you want to try to save each month, etc.) in advance so you know what you’re dealing with from the get-go.

 

6. Talk to Your Fiancé (a Lot!) About Your Shared Future.

In your ideal world, would you both be working? Where would you live? Would you have children? These are all important things to know before you go into a lifelong partnership—not after

7.Be financially independent

Along the same lines of being able to live on your own, having a solid grasp on our own finances will go a long way in making you feel ready to get hitched. “Whether you have a career or a good paying job, being financially independent means you are not going to get married because you need to,” says Stewart. “You have worth.” This also means that, should you for any reason split up or divorce, you’ll be able to stand on your own two feet.

8.Get in one good fight with your fiancé

Experts agree that entering into a marriage with full knowledge of how your partner handles conflict is key to a successful marriage. “Every couple—even the happiest, most compatible couples—have occasional disagreements, misunderstandings and differences of opinion,” says Dr. Walfish. “You need to know that you have a willing participant in open communication  without defensive postures and that your partner has self-examination skills and a capacity for accountability.” In other words, you don’t want to marry someone who will always blame you for problems that arise.

9.Travel the world

If you haven’t yet had (or taken) the opportunity to see and experience the beautiful world around you, before you are wed is the time to do so. Of course, you can, and likely will, travel with your future spouse, but having the experience of traveling solo or with friends  on your own accord—experiences that you can carve out for yourself and decide what they mean to you as an individual—can help solidify who you are as a person. Dr. Michael explains that, once you get married, the traveling with a partner will be different and the places that you go you will be decide together. Take advantage of your freedom to be totally selfish in your traveling endeavors now.

10.Develop a hobby or two

Hobbies not only make you more interesting, Stewart explains, but they give you your own time and space, which will come in handy when you enter your marriage. Whether it’s running, reading, writing, yoga or meditation, having an outlet to express yourself and relieve tension and stress in your life will make you a better spouse and a happier person overall.

11.Establish a solid support system

Getting married many times shifts your friend circle, naturally because you have less time to spend with the girls and are adjusting to married life, says Marissa Nelson, L.M.F.T., a licensed marriage and family therapist. “You may find that you and your husband entertain and go out together, possibly with other couples so it’s important to nurture your relationships with your good friends.” She recommends making it a point to call them when they cross your mind and to make it a habit to have a friend date once a month or an annual girls trip to creating memories together.

12.Stop sharing every detail of your relationship with others

When you first met or started dating, you might have unveiled every tiny detail about your now  to your friends and maybe even your family. But now that you’re serious, it’s important to preserve and protect the integrity of the relationship. “When you get mad, no Facebook rants or cryptic quotes about a fight you may be having and no more calling all of your friends for consensus about whether you are right or wrong in an argument,” says Nelson. “Your marriage is sacred and what happens in your relationship needs to stay in your relationship.” She suggests instead, leaning on a trusted best friend to blow off steam or find a therapist that you can confide in and learn skills to be a better mate and get through conflicts.

13. Learn To Cook

No, Noodles doesn’t count as food.

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